The Jonas Brothers

God's greatest mistake was making the Jonas Brothers. There is nothing worse in this world, aside from several politicians who shall go un-named. Why do pre and regualr teens think they are hot? Several of my friends, whom are generally quite smart, go crazy over those fake preps. I hate bubble-gum. Most of the fans of the Jonas Brothers, or Jo-Bros as they are called, probably think I'm talking about the candy. No! Bubble-gum is the most horrible pop ever invented, worse than Brittney. I thouhgt I'd never say that. The Backstreet Boys are back. Kill me now.

Russian Rock

Tonight, while listening to the radio off of my computer, I stumbled upon the most glorious thing ever: Russian rock. It's pretty much the weirdest stuff in the world. Imagine some syrupy pop ballad mixed with electronic. Or a guy snarling something nasty. So far, I can recognize two words, nya and ndak, both of which translate to mean roughtly the same thing. the translation is not going to be posted, because I don't want some former Soviet killing me. Listen to Russian rock. Even though it sucks and is un-understandable, I love it. Listen to the weird snarling guy. He's amde my day, or night, since it's after dinner. Whatever.

Genius

Unless you've been living under a rock for about the past week, you know what Genius is. Genius has saved my life. So, pretty much my computer died and I lost all my music and I'm too lazy to re-download most of it from CDs or steal it from my sister's computer, so I've started making Genius playlists. Pretty much, I've got a perfect medly of every song I love. It's win-win. And you can delete them if they suck. What more can I ask for?

Fun Stuff I Want To Talk About

I've finally finished talking about all the bands I think people should listen to. On to the fun stuff. As a nice preview, I'm going to tell you what some of my next blog topics will be about. They will be anything, from Genius, to the Jonas Brothers, to Frerard, to everything in between. Get ready for this.

The Who, The Founder Of The Rock Opera

Rock operas are rare and beautiful things. It is only fitting we tribute the band which came up with such an idea. And no, Sergent Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club band was not the first rock opera. It's just an nicely put together album. The first real rock opera is Tommy, by your's truly, the Who. If you don't know, Tommy's the story of this guy who becomes deaf, dumb, and blind and is this pinball playing genius. Listen to it. Do not whine. Spend that $11.99 and buy the stupid album! Baba O'Riley, aka Teenage Wasteland, is another great song by the who. All the covers, suck. Do not listen to the covers. My Generation is another good song. Are they good? Who knows?

U2, The Greatest Band Ever, King Of All Other Bands.

One band shall rule them all, one band shall find them, one band shall bring them all and in the lightness bind them. U2 is the one and only band everybody on this glorious earth should listen to. Bono. Edge. Adam Clayton. Larry Mullen Jr. What is the one thing they all have in common? That's right. They are all members of U2. Irish people are even better than British people, come to think of it. U2's best album, in my opinion, is War. It's got their best songs: Sunday Bloody Sunday, New Year's Day, and Fire. Three songs all about politics and the complete suckiness of the world. Love it. The rest of their stuff, be it bittersweet love songs or hyperactive iTunes commercials, is always great. Listen to the most beautiful, unpredictable band ever, and make this world a better place.

Steve Reynolds. Possibly The Best Stuff To Sleep To.

I said I would talk about Steve Reynolds, so this is it. Steve Reynolds is Canadian, which automatically makes him cool. I'm sorry all you Americans, but people from Canadia are awesome, almost as cool as Brits.
Now that my mini rant is over, I shall continue. Steve Reynolds does not sing. He croons. Wow. I never thought I'd say croon to describe a guy's voice, but whatever. So, Steve Reynolds croons these amazingly pretty songs, which are also very good to sleep to. Save Your Best or Stage fright are the ones that work the best for me. After listening to those two, I get my normal seven hours a night. Never listen to Steve Reynolds in the car when drowsy, if driving. a traffic accident will be caused and you will be blamed.

The Smiths. Long Live British Punk Rock!

In Wellness, we heard mellow is bad and makes kids kill themselves. My class has never heard The Smiths. Meet the most mellow, laid back band, ever. Before I discovered Steve Reynolds (more on him later), I'd listen to The Smiths to fall asleep. How Soon Is Now puts me out like nothing else. The Smiths are very good at that. The vast majority of their songs are very relaxing. A must to try is Girlfriend in a Coma. Well, that sounds kinda horrible, actually, but it really is a great song, all about this guy who's girlfriend is in a coma, and he's not sure if he wants her to live or die. Hey, it's mellow British punk, and therefore a thing of beauty.

Sex Pistols, Closest Thing In This World To A Proper Rebellion.

I'm a teenager. I like loud, angry music. The Sex Pistols pretty much started punk as we know it. A British publicity stunt is what we have to thank for the vast majority of good bands. So what if their bassist was a druggie who killed his girlfriend and then O.D.'ed? And so what if they can't play or sing? An entire genre out musician was inspired. Without the Sex Pistols, we wouldn't have any change. We'd all be listening to Soulja Boy do whatever he does. Only rap. That is horrible. God shouldn't save the queen. he should save the Sex Pistols.

Rolling Stones. One Phrase. Mick Jagger's Jeans.

I'd like the Rolling Stones way more if my parents hadn't forced me to that horrible Shine A Light movie. It was my first exposure to the Stones and it disturbed me. Mick Jagger wore jeans tighter than my skinnies, and he's ancient. Also, I'm a die-hard Beatles fan, even after the fiasco of Across the Universe. They do have a few good songs, like Jumping Jack Flash, Factory Girl, and Highwire, as well as the classics Satisfaction and You Can't Always Get What You Want. And of course, everyone loves Brits, so even the most horrible Stones song is way better than anything American.

Random Crap Which Doesn't Fall Under Anything

Music is a varied thing. There is some that can't fit into any category. Or, if you're like me, it fits, but you just don't have enough songs by a specific artist to make them into a playlist. This is a tribute to all those great, completely random songs. My random playlist is mostly made up of free iTunes singles and artists who only have one song I like. I like having my playlists. It keeps things organized. Random playlists are especially fun. Try shuffling them. I can go from Queen, to the Wombats, to the Dixie Chicks, to Paper Planes. Great songs, in a great order. Throw some of your songs into a random playlist. It can be really fun.

Nirvana, A Pretty Nice Punk Group

For once, there's not much to say. Nirvana's famous. I'm pretty sure everyone who actually understands music has heard of them, but I'm not sure. Anyway, they founded the whole Seattle grunge thing. the next time you see a garage band with long hair, just remember them. It Smells Like Teen Spirit is an okay song, but that's about all I know. and Kurt Cobain had the most beautiful voice. Why did he kill himself? Why?

My Chemical Romance, A Beautiful And Talented Band. Long Live Frerard!

I do not listen to poser bands. I listen to My Chemical Romance. Therefore, My Chemical Romance is not a poser band. My Chemical Romance, otherwise known as My Chem or MCR( I'll be calling them this from know on. My Chemical Romance is too long) is not your stereotypical faux emo bands. Most of their members are either recovered addicts or are on some sort of depression med. Trust me. They are the real deal. And no, you won't become a creepy emo kid from listening to their music. Why? They aren't an emo band. Why don't people get that? Instead, they are just a slightly screwed up, incredibly good, angsty alternative rock band from somewhere in New Jersey with an odd desire to write rock operas. That's all.

Green Day, Otherwise Known As The Coolest And One Of The Only Decent Bands On Earth

Don't want to be an American idiot? Listen to Green Day. Three men. Three instruments. Perfection. Billie Joe, the lead singer with his political attitudes. Mike, the only non-loser-ish bass player in the music industry. Tre, the constantly high on who knows what drummer. Yeah. It's that good. Green Day is one of my favorite bands, ever. Ever been tired of people (insert politicians) telling you what to do? Want to rebel with thousands over other dis-satisfied youth? Green Day may be the band for you. Side effects may include buying every single one of their albums, except for Nimrod, memorizing Time of Your Life, and a steady addiction to the Holiday music video. Do not take if you are a conservative Republican, have an affinity for romance, or have delicate ears.

The Gaslight Anthem, A Kick-Ass Band With Punk And Classic Rock Meshed

Bruce Springsteen is terrifying. Let me just put that out there. He's this gross old dude with strange music. Yet people love him. Explain that to me. Before you thing I'm being all hypocritical for liking Gaslight Anthem, let me explain. Sure, their major influence maybe Springsteen, but unlike him, they are young, semi-attractive men who can sing. Mix classic and modern rock and you've got Gaslight Anthem. Pretty much, they'd be the perfect band to do the soundtrack for Catcher In The Rye, which is the best book ever. If you're too lazy to buy an entire album or don't have the money to, get Here's To Looking At You Kid. Totally worth the dollar.

Flogging Molly, A Great Irish Punk Band

I think the name says all. Flogging Molly. It's a thing of beauty. You know that cool, slightly creepy Celtic music? Mix some hardcore punk in and there you have it. It's pretty much rock with bagpipes, or Riverdance with electric guitar. Anyway, I love them. And to make stuff even better, I'm going to their concert. In October. Lucky me. But they are pretty tamed, for Celtic-punk fusion. None of their songs are wild or anything. In fact, the vast majority are pretty slow, which is only slightly disappointing. I want to hear fast rock and bagpipes, not a sad electric guitar. Aside from that one little detail, they're pretty chill as bands tend to go. Worship them. Worship them!

Dropkick Murphys. A Hardcore Drunken Irish Band From Boston

Ever want to listen to a band made up of insane Red-Sox fans? Just try Dropkick Murphys. It's pretty much this awesome mix of Flogging Molly and Green Day. Celtic punk fusion with extra punk. Perfect for any insane anglophile. I only own two of their albums, The Warrior's Code and The Meanest Of Times, but I really like them. One of their awesome songs about Boston was the theme for The Departed. Yeah. Hard core, right. But then there's this other song about this dead solider which is also just as beautiful. Even if the first time you hear them, it sounds like a group of talented drunk guys being all cool and Irish, it's even better then that. They've got a lot to say, so shut up and listen to pure beauty.

The Decemberists, A Weirdly Good Indie Band

Indie is not evil. Let me just put that out there. I'm not one of those creepy kids who is all "Indie must be worshiped. Kill people who listen to normal stuff", but I'm not against it either. There is, however, one indie band everyone should try. That's right. The Decemberists. The Decemberists are this cool little band from Washington or something. I'm not actually sure. But anyway, most of their stuff is just this weird folky stuff. Crane Wife is their best album, so far. Everyone, and I mean everyone, should listen to at least one song from it. It's nice, but that's about it for them. There's not much else to say.

The Clash, A Pretty Sweet Band, For What They Are.

London is calling, the guns of Brixton firing, and should I stay or should I go? What do these three phrases have in common? Only that they are from the songs of a truly special British band. First off, who the hell names their band the Clash? I'm not sure. Secondly, why are they so cool? Again, I'm not sure. 80's pop can be a scary thing. Before you think I'm a musical traitor, I've only ever heard one pop song by them. Should I Stay Or Should I Go is seriously one of the coolest songs I've heard. Listen to it off of iTunes if you don't own it. Sure, it is pretty hardcore pop, but just the lyrics and sound make me smile. The rest of their stuff is pretty grim, especially Guns of Brixton and London Calling. One is about race riots, the latter about nuclear disasters. But, hey, I love them both.

The Beatles. The First Real Band. Ever.

John. George. Paul. Ringo. What do these four names have in common? Let's see. They are all Beatles. No, not the insect, you ignoramus. The band. The first boy band ever. And the only good one. In the history of music. Even though it sounds like they're just a bunch of whiny British bitches, it's better than that. Imagine a quartet of crooning young men from Liverpool. John is the leader, George the moody guitarist, Paul the odd bassist, and Ringo, the insane drummer. It's pretty cool. At first, every single song sounds like one of those goopy love ballads. I've listened to most of their love songs about five times each before I noticed that, yeah, it's horrible and way too happy, but each song has a slightly different twist. The best Beatles' songs are either their stoner songs or unhappy love songs. Just think Yellow Submarine, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, I Am the Walrus, Yesterday, Elanor Rigby, and Blackbird. Those are pretty good songs and should be on any playlist.

Actual Good Music People Should Listen To And Enjoy Instead Of Pseudo-Rap And Disney Pop Princesses

In this world, there is music and there is music. Most poor, uneducated souls listen to the first type. They will spend their entire lives, listening to what they think to be rap, but is really some white guy whining about how he can't get laid (Justin Timberlake). In hopes that romance exists, they drown their sorrows in pop (Jonas Brothers). Just stop. That is not real music. Seriously? In order to have an understanding of good music, one has to a) listen to oldies. I know that is painful. The 60's weren't that long ago. Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it. b) listen to many types of music. Even if your thing is jazz-blues, try some punk. If emo is a passion, try opera. Don't just limit to genres. Try music from different countries as well. And c) listen with an open mind. Death Cab For Cutie may suck now, but a couple years ago, their stuff was pretty good. Don't be a music snob. Try a little of everything, even if you think you won't like it. Who knows? You actually might.